Communication Skills

What is the one thing that surprised me the most? Why?

The one thing that surprised me the most about this week’s assignment is how each of the people that I had to take the test found that my communication skills were so very similar to the same results I generated from the test.  There was less than a 5 points difference in each of the areas and in one of the areas, Verbal Aggressiveness, all of the scores were the same and that really was surprising.  I realize that if I was younger, the scores would have a greater variance than it does today because of maturity and knowledge gained over the years. 

What other insights about communication did I gain this week?

I realized that even if I don’t interact the same with my colleagues as I do with my family, it’s refreshing to know that they see a lot of the same traits in me as far as communication skills. I am glad that I exhibit many of the same communication skills with my family as I do with colleagues and co-workers.  The colleague that took the test is someone that I interact with on a professional level, but not on a daily basis.  When taking the test, I knew that he was aware of my work ethics on the job and when I am presenting at training and it is great to know that I am able to communicate well with others. 

How might 2 of these insights inform my professional work and personal life?

These three tests allowed me to see whether or not others felt that I communicated with them the same way as I felt that I communicated with them.  I know that I try to listen as well as I communicate, but if others don’t feel that about you, then it lets me know that I need to work on my communication and listening skills.  The test did not reveal any significant areas that I wasn’t already aware of, but I know that there is always room for improvement and I will continue to work on those areas.

Ways of Communicating

·         Do you find yourself communicating differently with people from different groups and cultures?

I do feel that I communicate differently with people of different cultures but it is not based on ethnicity, but more about social situations.  I don’t speak to people differently because of their cultures because the same way I speak to my African American friends, I speak the same way to friends who are Caucasian and Latino.  I know people of diverse cultures both on and off the job who I interact with quite often and we get together in social situations.  Many of them I met while attending school and not only do we interact as adults but also through our children. We have found that we have a lot in common and that is what draws us closer together.  The area where the difference occurs is on the job or in a professional capacity.  The communication that I have with diverse cultures on the job is of a more professional that personal nature because of the setting and the occasion in which the communication is taking place. 

·         If yes, in what ways do you communicate differently?

I realize that when I am working, I communicate differently with those on the job and when I am at conferences or presenting at a conference.  On the other hand when I am among friends off the job or in a social gathering of close friends and family, I communicate differently.  Vuckovic, (2008, p.54) also found that when we produce a response in a social communication, we are influenced by our culture, perceptions, social role, identities and our personality. I feel that I’m not as careful or concerned about the way I speak or what I say in social situations as I am on the job.  I like to be myself regardless of where I am and I always want to be the kind of person who is approachable to anyone I know or meet, but I am aware of the different hats that I wear both on and off the job. 

When I am communicating with diverse cultures in a professional manner I must always be cognizant of the family background, traditions, and most of all their cultural beliefs.  My role professionally and personally each influences my social identity and how I am viewed by others with whom I interact with daily.  Vuckovic (2008) noted that our personal and social identities influence all our communication behavior, even though one may predominate in a particular situation.

Based on what you have learned this week, share at least three strategies you could use to help you communicate more effectively with the people or groups you have identified.

I feel that becoming other-oriented which is the process of focusing on others rather than yourself is a process which would enable me to be a more effective communicator.  This process includes social decentering – taking into account the other person’s thoughts, values, background, and overall perspective; empathy – an emotional reaction that is similar to the one being experienced by the other person and the last one of adapting my communication – which is to adjust your behavior to others to accommodate differences and expectations. (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011).

References:

 Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to

            others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

Vuckovic, A. (2008). Inter-cultural communication: A foundation of communicative action.

Multicultural Education and Technology Journal, 2(1), 47–59.

Communication in Action

For this assignment I watched an old episode of the Roseanne show, which is a I have never sat down to watch.  I was never really interested and I don’t watch a lot of television.  In this episode Roseanne was in a salon and was given a birthday cake and asked to make a wish, which she did and preceded to blow out the candles.  There was more verbal interaction between she and the other ladies of the shop and they seem to ask her what was her wish.  She smiled and looked as though she did not want to tell them and she left to shop to go home.  At home she was reading from a tablet that looked like it was hers from her high school days and the children seem to make fun of what she was reading.  She decided to put the book back into her box of memorabilia and put it away because she was ashamed.  She them began to cook dinner and while doing so, her children looked as though they were questioning her about her age and the fact that she kept a book that she wrote in.  She later received a surprise from her family who blindfolded her and lead her to the basement.  Once there they took off the blindfold to reveal a table and chair setup with a book shelf and several small packages that looked like paper, pencils and a box of crayons.  She looked very happy and content with her birthday gift as she began to remove the paper from her packages.  She sat down at the table and begin to try and write but could not so she began to clean up. She was lonely and eventually saw a friend who tried to give her some ideas of something to write about but this did not help so she went upstairs and began to make sandwiches while talking to a friend of hers about her problem. Her friend told her to be patient, she will eventually find something to write about.

After watching this episode without sound, I went back to watch it with the sound.  I discovered that one of the ladies was her boss and she was giving Roseanne the upcoming Saturday off for her birthday.  She did make a wish to get paid while off work and she was told that she would.  She did tell what her wish was and that was to have time to write, such as poem and other things, because this was something that she loved to do at one time.  She talked about not having time because of her family demands.  She went into the basement and found a box of her old journal.  She read about thinks she wanted to do by the time she turned 30 and one of the things she wanted to do was be a writer.  She talked about how she used to write and that she does not have time to do it anymore.  She was being encouraged to start again by her husband and although she was smiling, it was very apparent that she was frustrated because she could not enjoy something that she loved to do.

I assumed that because this was a comedy, Roseanne was joking about something very silly when she made her wish and that she was being sarcastic with the others in her group and at home about becoming older.  I would never have guess that she was taking about a hobby that she used to enjoy. 

I don’t know if I would have made the correct assumptions if I knew this show as well as other shows I have watched.  It is very difficult to make that assumption, especially with shows that are comedic in nature because you never know if the character is being serious or funny.  It is important to notice everything about a person when you are communicating with them, but it is not always as easy to tell what the meaning behind the statement is when you are not as acquainted or familiar with them as you would like to be.

COMPETENT COMMUNICATOR

          This week I had the opportunity to think about a person whom I think is an effective and competent communicator and the one person who entered my mind was Sherri.  Sherri is an educator, motivator and most of all a great friend.  I have know her for more than 10 years, but the thing that comes to mind when I think about her communication skills is not how well she speaks or how she has the skills to draw you into her conversation and not even that she is a great listener, but because she hears you.  What I mean when I say that she hears you is that there are people I know that are good at listening to what you have to say and giving you the appropriate response, but she not only listens, but she hears you in such a way, that she can hear not only what you say and what you are not saying.  She is a great motivational speaker and does so at many local and state events.  She is also the kind of person who is genuine and real about what she says. She works with  lot of kids at the school and they love her for her openness and honesty.  She has group sessions with many teens who know that they can voice their opinions without feeling judged.

         My greatest desire is to develop the type of skills that makes it easy for others to feel that I am effective and competent by having to ability to listen and hear what is being said.  I want to be able to be open and genuine with others so that they know that I am listening and hearing what they are trying to say.  I also want to be able to communicate my thoughts in a way that makes others feel they can freely talk with me, regardless of whether they are children or adults and know that they can trust me to be honest and real.

Professional Hopes and Goals

The one hope that I have when I think about working with children and families who come from diverse backgrounds.

My one hope would be to create an environment where my children and families can feel accepted, embraced and celebrated for the similarities as well as their differences and to feel empowered by knowing that they are valued as members of the community, classroom and society.  I want to create an environment where diverse families feel respected and to build a relationship where we can share information, ideas, and hopes for their child’s educational success.

One goal I would like to set for the early childhood field related to issues of diversity, equity, and social justice.

The one goal that I would like to set for the early childhood field is to eliminate the many biases, prejudicial ideologies and inequities that exist in educational opportunities for all families regardless of ethnicity/cultural diversity, economics/class-ism, or ability/able-ism. I would like to study and research diversity issues more in-depth and to become more of an advocate for social justice and equity for all families so that when families face issues of discrimination, biases and injustice there will be legislature in place that prevents these issues from occurring.

A brief note of thanks to my colleagues

To each of my colleagues, I thank you.  I thank you for your many views on diversity, micro-aggressions and social justice.   I thank you for your knowledge and open communication during our discussions regarding our experiences with diversity, different and often difficult “isms” that we have suffered from others as well as our goals and visions for the future.  I am thankful that although it was sometimes difficult experiencing past hurts and disappointments we still maintained a positive outlook about life and our determination to prevent the same thing from happening to others.

To Dr. Snider, I thank you for the opportunity to develop my self-identity which I’m sure will change over the course of my studies.  I thank you for allowing me to reflect on my life journey and how it has had an overwhelming effect on the work and the passion I have for the children and families I serve.  I have truly enjoyed this course more than any I have taken during educational journey and I hope you continue the great work you do helping each of us take a closer look at ourselves and how we address diversity and equity for all children and families.

Welcoming Families From Around the World

        The name of my family’s country of origin is Iran. This is a country that has so many different cultures, languages, ethnicities, traditions and religious practices, it is important to determine each of these when trying to culturally responsive to the family.

Five ways in which I will prepare myself to be culturally responsive towards this family is to do the following:

• 1.      Do research on the culture, traditions and beliefs of the Iranian culture after finding out which region or culture my family is from and what language they speak.  The country is multi-ethnic, multi-cultural and speaks several languages.  I would also find out if the family speaks English and if not, I would locate an interpreter before meeting with the family.  If they do, I would ask about the home language and try to learn some key words or phrases.

• 2.      I would also find out about religious practices and holiday celebrations.  I would determine their eating habits, customs and about their home life and about their child rearing practices.  I also want to know if there are other siblings or relatives in the area who would be of help with the transition process.

• 3.      I would provide information to staff and administrators about the family and their beliefs, customs and traditions as well as any other important facts that will assist them in being prepared for the family.

• 4.      I would invite the parents in to discuss their goals and wishes for their child’s education and find out if they are willing to be involved by volunteering in the classroom.  I would invite them to come in and meet with the staff and children to talk about their culture and traditions and provide some activities to help them to understand more about their culture.  I would also determine if they have any needs or problems and provide resource information to help meet those needs.

• 5.      I would ensure that there are some diversity materials in the classroom that displays ethnicity, cultural and traditions of Iranians and invite the children to ask questions and present activities to enable them to learn more about the Iranian culture. 

I hope that by incorporating these procedures it will enable the family to have a smooth transition into school and we, the staff and administration, will be prepared to provide services to the family.  I am hoping that if there is any information that we have omitted to cover, the family will feel comfortable in discussing those needs and providing details that will enable us to ensure that they and their child will have a positive and successful experience. 

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

            One act of micro-aggression which I observed this week was when I took my mother, who is 84 years of age, to the emergency room for treatment.  The attending nurse wanted to know why she was in the emergency room and whether she had a doctor?    After answering her, the nurse then wanted to know why she did not go to her doctor instead of coming there.  We were there at 9:00 p.m. and her doctor was out of town.    Her personal doctor was the one who called and had me take her to the emergency room when I called her office for an appointment because she did not want her to wait until her return to receive treatment.  They had to admit her and of course I stayed with her for the 3 days she was there.  I was very upset by the attitude of the nurse who was attending to her initially because of her attitude.  It wasn't about the questions she asked, but the attitude she had when asking was very patronizing and ugly. I immediately let her know that if she had any further questions about my mother, they should be directed to me.

It was not because she incapable of answering her questions, but because of her condescending attitude.  She immediately apologized and her entire attitude began to change.  I was not sure if this was a case of unintentional micro-insult or intentional and whether it was because of age or color, but nevertheless, I wanted to bring it to her attention.

            

The attitude of the nurse let me know that discriminatory practices are alive and well and it doesn't matter why or whom it is directed toward.  I also happen to witness her attitude toward a mother and child, who happen to be Caucasian, and it was empathetic and concerned, although the child was sick with a virus, she never asked if he had a doctor and why his mother didn't take him to see his personal physician.  I must admit that I became upset initially by her attitude, but I proudly handled the situation in a mature and professional manner.  I did not allow her attitude toward my mother change the person I am today to the person I used to be at a younger age where I would have reacted much differently to the insult.