One act of micro-aggression which I observed this
week was when I took my mother, who is 84 years of age, to the emergency room
for treatment. The attending nurse
wanted to know why she was in the emergency room and whether she had a
doctor? After answering her, the nurse
then wanted to know why she did not go to her doctor instead of coming there. We were there at 9:00 p.m. and her doctor was
out of town. Her personal doctor was the one who called
and had me take her to the emergency room when I called her office for an
appointment because she did not want her to wait until her return to receive treatment. They had to admit her and of course I stayed
with her for the 3 days she was there. I
was very upset by the attitude of the nurse who was attending to her initially
because of her attitude. It wasn't about
the questions she asked, but the attitude she had when asking was very
patronizing and ugly. I immediately let her know that if she had any further
questions about my mother, they should be directed to me.
It was not because she incapable
of answering her questions, but because of her condescending attitude. She immediately apologized and her entire
attitude began to change. I was not sure
if this was a case of unintentional micro-insult or intentional and whether it
was because of age or color, but nevertheless, I wanted to bring it to her
attention.
The
attitude of the nurse let me know that discriminatory practices are alive and
well and it doesn't matter why or whom it is directed toward. I also happen to witness her attitude toward
a mother and child, who happen to be Caucasian, and it was empathetic and
concerned, although the child was sick with a virus, she never asked if he had
a doctor and why his mother didn't take him to see his personal physician. I must admit that I became upset initially by
her attitude, but I proudly handled the situation in a mature and professional
manner. I did not allow her attitude toward
my mother change the person I am today to the person I used to be at a
younger age where I would have reacted much differently to the insult.
Liz,
ReplyDeleteHow rude of this nurse. Like you stated, we don't know for sure why she acted the way she did. Her ugliness could have been the result of racism, or ageism. I have heard nurses complain that people do not go to the doctor during the day and then come to the emergency room at night. This is such an absurd comment. Who wants to leave home at night to sit in an emergency room! On top of that both of you had to endure this nurse's attitude. You showed much poise and grace in handling this situation. Your maturity and professionalism may be the result of the knowledge we are gaining in this course. Although the nurse's behavior was completely wrong, you understood that the problem belonged with her and not you. I hope your Mother is doing fine now. Thanks for sharing.
Mary Jo
Hi Eliza,
ReplyDeleteI understand just what you are saying because, the same has happened to me. Whenever you have to go into a hospital setting, you are always a little apprehensive of the unknown. The last time I was in a hospital, the nurse was so impatient and her attitude was horrible. This is the time you need to feel there are professional, caring people around you. I ended up requesting that she not be my nurse while I was there, I just felt degraded and uneasy. I am sorry your mother had to experience that and I hope she is doing well.
Kathleen
Thanks Kathleen and MaryJo for your comments and concern. I am happy to say that she is home and doing much better. I also left a comment at the hospital that their nurses need to remember that they chose a profession that, even though it's not easy, is very fulfilling and it means that they must be compassionate and understanding about the people they serve. This like the profession we work in has no place for negative attitudes. It not so much what you say but how you say it. Again I thank you.
ReplyDeleteHi Liz,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your personal story. My sister goes through this with her mom when she takes her to the ER too. Right now they are fighting with her regular Dr. over physical therapy treatment because the Dr. at the hospital wants it and her regular Dr. does not. It is amazing the types of hoops that the elderly has to go through just to receive care.
-Beau
hi liz,
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that you had to experience the negative and tainted attitude of that nurse. Sometimes when people are unhappy with themselves they reflect out on other people, I dont know either if this was discrimination due to age or racism. I am glad to see hear that she is doing better.