CONFLICT RESOLUTION

          I have not been involved in any conflicts recently with any supervisors or colleagues, but in my personal life, I did have a disagreement with my daughter regarding a trip which she wants to take in December.  I am aware of the fact that she is an adult and that she no longer lives in my household, but I still feel that in some cases it is necessary to give her my opinion even if she does not accept it.  She asked if I would assist her with a ticket to go to LA to visit a male friend of hers.  She has never taken this type of trip before and she really does not know as much as she should about the young man she is going to visit.  I felt that if he was interested in her visiting him, he should offer to pay for her ticket and her hotel room.  She has not known him very long and most of their conversations have taken place on the phone because he travels a lot and because of where he lives.  He is in the entertainment field and this concerns me even more.  She was not happy to hear what I said and because of this she was upset and felt that I was wrong in my suspicions and my request.  I was raised in the old school that said if a man wants to have a relationship with you, he should do the pursuing.  I stated to her that, because she is an adult, she has to make the decision of what it is that she wants to do and that I would respect her choice even if I don’t agree with it.  I also made it clear that if she decided to go, she would have to be responsible for her expense because that is what adults do.

            By using honest expressions of Nonviolent Communication (n.d.), it allows us to reframe the way we express ourselves and listen to others by focusing our consciousness in the areas of what we are observing, feeling and needing and what we are requesting to enrich our lives.  When speaking with my daughter, I was able to express myself while still listening to her reasoning as to why she should still go on the trip.  I also acknowledged that I respected her feelings and her need to make a decision independent of me and my thoughts or opinion.  I also listened empathetically to her by recognizing her feelings and the fact that as an adult she has the right to decide what is best for her.

 

            I would love to have the opinions of my colleagues about what I should do in this situation?   

Reference:

The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). The center for nonviolent communication. Retrieved 

          from http://www.cnvc.org/